If you have read my previous post titled BECOMING I am pretty sure you are in the know that organized religion has never seemed right to me. The way rules are attached to spirituality and although all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, sinners judge other sinners for sinning differently is absurd. I still go to church regardless but whether I go to dance, to enjoy the ritual of eating the body and blood of Jesus Christ or the fact that I have been raised to leave Sunday mornings empty when planning my week, I do not know. Upon reflections however I think the closest reason will be my connection with the solemnity of Methodist hymns. Whenever the monsters in my head try to start a fight I pull out a classic hymn and sing my fears away, the best in my opinion are those written by Charles Wesley. I went to church this week as usual and after service I received a call from my friend asking where I was and what I was doing after church so I casually mentioned that I was hungry and he said that he was getting waakye from around his church so he will secure a plate for me. This invite was great and I was already on my uber requesting for a ride to his church. The first thing I saw when I opened the app was #UberFrontSeatChallenge which simply required that riders sat in the front seat and read the bio of the driver to strike a conversation and share their stories on social media with the hashtag. For the very first time in my life I was considering taking a social media challenge and contemplating another first, sitting in the front seat of an uber. The driver who was stuck in traffic right across me in the opposite lane was called Obed and he happened to be a rapper, photographer and a personal trainer. I knew I was in for a treat when I read his bio and it said “I am an advanced version of your attitude.” I was already excited to meet the gentleman from SCC who was supposedly an authority when it came to finding restaurants, bars, beaches and shopping centers in the city.
Obed parked in front of me and attempted to call my number but because I spotted his Daewoo matiz when he was on the other side of the road I quickly hopped in and said a warm good morning. He responded nicely and put off the Kofi Mole ft. Kwesi Arthur, Mensah and politely requested to start the trip. By this time I was buried in his profile again checking his complements and I must say that I was impressed with how good his reviews were especially regarding his good music taste, great conversation and good client relationship. I had chickened out of the challenge by the time the trip started however I still went ahead to have a conversation with an uber driver for the first time. I started by telling him about the challenge and it being my first time in the front seat and he smiled broadly showing very enviable dentition before saying “so that is why everyone is sitting in the front seat today erh?” This was the first time I had caught his gaze and he gave me a shy boyish grin before looking away and pursing his lips. He should be in his mid-twenties with very engaging Pidgin ( which I understand, but barely) yet extremely polite. I asked about the uber job and he professed love for it especially late night trips with the cool midnight breeze and traffic less Accra left for him to explore. He appreciates the opportunity to know places because of his job and he mentioned that he also uses a Corolla on UberSelect. I learnt from him that all drivers had twelve hours to drive a day and he is sometimes a rider too.
I wanted to know why he stopped playing the music when I got in and he said that he did not want to spoil my Sunday vibes seeing that I had just closed from church and he did not have any Christian songs. With my permission he started playing a lot of Medikal songs I haven’t heard. As the conversation progressed he casually asked if I could drive and I answered in the affirmative giving details that I however gave up on my second day behind the wheels. He laughed and said he noticed me shake when someone crossed us carelessly and I confirmed I was once involved in an accident sitting in the front seat of a taxi and that is why I do not use the front seat. We spoke about other things like his music which is currently on hold and his ambition to travel out of the country before I got to my destination. I thanked him and he asked me to enjoy my day as I hurried off to devour my Waakye.
The day before this experience I attended the royal wedding of my family. Yes it was a very big deal for the clan and everyone had to catch the wave. The performative nature of it came to bear as we all had to act happy even when the preparations before the main event had worn us out. I had to dance and scream and be moving up and down when I woke up very early that morning to travel to Aburi to bring palm wine for the event and what I needed most was sleep. The couple are Jehovah’s Witnesses and as such did not perform both traditional and civil weddings. I was told that the laws of the church required that they chose one out of the two and so there was a traditional ceremony and then a dinner party where she wore her wedding gown. The dinner event started at about 4pm and truth be told I had not been able to enjoy my beauty sleep as I planned. After the traditional wedding we had to stay behind and arrange everything before going home to take our other bath and head right back to the event center. You can guess how tired I looked and I had eyebags that looked like they could host the Akosombo dam. As my uber driver arrived I saw my cousin pull her gift from under my study table and I smiled because I didn’t have one. She asked why and I said I had already given mine to the bride during her bachelorette which was actually a lie. She did not know that the bride had mentioned earlier that she was not going to touch any of the gifts that come to her. She was going to donate all the gifts including cash to a special needs home.
The issue of being afraid something bad will happen in your marriage if you accepted gifts from certain people on your wedding day has been with us from time immemorial. The ideal perception being that the witches will feast on the body and blood of their unborn children comparative to what Christians do Christ at communion. I think that it is all in our minds and it brings a bigger discussion to the table.
I believe that every religion is in line with the cultures of a particular people. The Chinese have Confucianism, Buddhism for the Indians, Judaism for Jews and African Traditional Religion for Africans. The cultures and conventions of a people play a role in the way they worship their maker and it even alters their approach to creationism. In the grand scheme of things the Muslim does not believe that the name of Jesus Christ can perform any form of miracles just as a Christian does not recognize Mohammed (peace be upon him) as the last Prophet sent by God because of the wickedness of Christians. It is the same with every other religion not appreciating what others preach but one thing is for sure, an African is always scared of the gods of the African Traditional Religion. Why should a Christian be worried if he is cursed with “Antoa” or a Muslim be worried that juju will work on him so he must consult a mallam? It is so because whatever religion you are associated with, religion is cultural. When the famous Jew said “give unto Caesar what is his” he was referring to taxes but it has been broadened to even accommodate traditional festivals and sacrifices because we can never worship God and ignore our culture, even Jesus went missing at a festival right? Whatever you think about the religion of the African people against a foreign religion you subscribe to it is still clear that you fear the ruthlessness of the lesser gods compared to your Almighty father.
Okay guys listen, the bigger the gutter in front of the vendor the better the waakye is no myth and you have to take it serious. Can you imagine that my friend bought the waakye from a non-Muslim who was selling over a small covered gutter? You people are not aware that that waakye tastes its best when the cholera wind blows around it? Such a disappointment. The waakye was lowkey hard, the spaghetti which is called the macaroni or taalia was salty and she had no plantain. Your Chief Bitch was pressed. Very pressed! And even the egg was too soft. So Yes, my week started on a horrible note with terrible overhyped waakye from Osu Ako Adjei when there is better Waakye in Labone.
Hewal3 Klan 